Dying to Live

Below is the list of regrets that different people in the final stages of their lives had and shared with a nurse offering palliative care. These five themes seem to be the most common with people in their death bed. I have read a lot of books and articles on dying and living and what struck me about this particular list is the simplicity of it all. I guess that is the beauty of death; it strips all the complexities that we have added to our lives over the years and shows us for who and what we truly are and what we are not. We have nothing to hide behind, nothing with which to protect ourselves from the inevitable truth.

The list:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

2. I wish I didn't work so hard.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

When you read the list and introspect, it will hit you; the mistakes you have made and the lost opportunities and you will also realize none of it has anything to do with material comfort.

The secret then to a happy life is to cherish people around you and more importantly surround yourself with people who will cherish you and help you grow. While you are alive try and get most of it right. Make the dying wish a living promise.






Ref. article: http://www.ariseindiaforum.org/nurse-reveals-the-top-5-regrets-people-make-on-their-deathbed/

coming of age of a politician and other related stuff

I never ever thought I would live to see the day when I can make sense out of statements made by Raj Thackeray. However, the man famous for ludicrous protests that hold Maharastrian cities to ransom has finally made a statement which struck a chord, at least with me. Is this what they call coming of age in politics?? He has stated that Belgaum, Nipani-Karwar, Khanapur and other Marathi-speaking villages in Karnataka should stay in Karnataka and Maharashtra has nothing special to offer them. With the outburst of protests to this statement, there is a high likelihood that he might withdraw it, or threaten the print media for printing them, and try and get them out of Maharashtra.

However, there is a lot of truth in his statement. Maharashtra has nothing to offer the hundreds of kids dying in Melghat due to malnutrition, no solution to the farmer’s problems in Vidarbha region, no solution to the sorry state of state-sponsored education, and other endless problems that plague them. There is no feasible solution forthcoming from the political class. I still don’t understand why, at a periodic interval (read elections), these politicians flare up the issue and people still fall prey to it.

And all those idiots from these border villages who damage public properties never see that their issue will always be only an issue. They are nothing but a trump card and the moment their problem is solved, they will lose all the political patronage they are enjoying. It will be interesting if these people use this to their favour and get additional benefits out of Karnataka govt., but I don’t see that ever happening. Idiots are always idiots; you see there is no cure for that one.

This is the case with all regions that want to break away from one or join with another.  There is no point. We the people are just expendable pawns to the political players. With the king sitting impassively in the centre, the queen and the knights have all the fun.

 Politicians of this state (and the rest of country), have and will always be, spokesmen and minions for the realtors and other so-called Elite. Yes, I am generalising, as the handful of politicians who are worth their salt don’t give a rats-ass as to whether I generalise or not. They will continue to do their work.

So moral of story - Raj is finally a mature politician, there is still some hope after all for the poor Aam Admi and politicians in general suck.

RAGE

Tearing across the skies

The sound of raging battle

roar of a million lions

Heard in unison, the cry of life

Nature wielding her sword of light

Unbridled arrogance, challenging

Destroying human ego

Born from wind and water

Beautiful in its ugly ferocity

Touching the earth

Like a stairway from hell

This is where the elements meet

Like sparks off a clashing sword

Too instantaneous to grasp

Too immense to behold.

the thorn branch

In one of those random conversations with a friend of mine who can pretty much complete my sentences for me... She made a statement, comparing some relationships in our lives to holding on to a thorn branch for dear life.

Holding on here is as difficult as letting go. The harder you hold the more you hurt yourself. The moment you let go, the dark plunge that follows will take you to bottoms you never knew existed. The only solace of letting go is the few moments of peace and freedom during the free fall before you hit the rock bottom.

Most of us might come out of the abysmal depths, with our sanity intact. The wound inflicted will eventually heal. The scars however will be our constant companion.

The choice of holding onto the thorn branch ever so tightly or letting go and embracing the free fall is up to us. The pain however remains as a common denominator no matter what choice we make.

Is there a way to completely escape all this pain ? I am not sure.

Maybe it’s time we took Buddha’s words more seriously.

-- Ro&I

Kolkata Fire

The recent events at the AMRI, not the fire, we all know that story, but how the government and the judiciary decided to act, baffles me. There was an accident - it could be caused due to the callousness of a few employees of the hospital or it could be an act of arson. One is as likely as the other. However, the government and the judiciary decided to go after the director, some of them never directly involved in the day to day operations of the hospital, and some were there as directors due to some special medical skills that they possess. The government and judiciary gave into popular demand, arrested the people who were not the actual perpetrators of the crime, while the actual criminal has gone scott-free.

This was a case of negligence and it did cost us dearly. But why the directors were targeted without any inquiry? why was the hospital’s license cancelled before an enquiry? I am no authority on the IPC, but I am sure a lot of laws were sidestepped before the dogs were let loose on the directors. Probably now there will be an enquiry which will be custom made to justify the verdict that has already been passed.

So if I go set fire to AIIMS will the Union Health Minister Ghulam Nabi Azad and the rest of the hospital board be arrested and only then an enquiry will be ordered?

I am not supporting the case of the directors; I am just bringing to notice what the government has done. It has set precedence, a dangerous one at that. So from now on when there is failure on the governmental part, will the heads of the ministers roll? I would like to see that happen. Or is there a different set of laws governing aam admi and them?

People should also wake up and also demand the suspension or imprisonment of the railway minister where ever there is an accident or the transport minister when a pothole on the road causes a fatal accident. Is the Government willing to take decisive action then? Will the judiciary sidestep a lot of laws to bring the ministers to justice?

It time someone told the politicians to stop looking at everything as a political leverage and actually do the work they were supposed to do.

Hariyaali : The k9 in need of a miracle

Hari (short for Hariyaali) the canine who beat all odds to survive with stakes against her. She has been nurtured and treated by a few friends of mine .This is a tale of a survivor, who is need of another miracle. 

Hari was injured in a motorbike accident at two months of age. She survived due to the love of some of her very first admirers—kind-hearted garage mechanics, who fed and bandaged her till the wounds healed. But the accident left her (due to lack of proper medical attention) with a misshapen foreleg with almost no paw pad. Once she began to walk again, the injury not only made her limp but caused her paw to rub against the ground. Out on the rough road, this constant rubbing led to a chronic wound that bled and pained every time she moved. Life on the streets is not easy and even a small handicap can severely hamper the chances of survival. Poor Hari has had three more near-fatal episodes since her accident. The last was when the wound on her paw developed a septic infection. Each time a lucky intervention managed to save her.

While her trysts with life seem miraculous enough for her name, Hari’s tale has a lot more magic in it. What would you expect a dog that has been through such trauma to be like? Nervous, unsocial, wary? Hari turns out to be the antithesis of all such fears. She continues to amaze with her strength and patience, delight with her boundless friendship and inspire with her calmness of nature, a darling indeed.

For instance, despite having been in pain for most of her ten months of life, she has borne all the long treatments with a patience that never ceases to astonish doctors and onlookers alike. Through innumerable bandages and saline treatments, she has sat with an almost Zen-like calm. More amazing is the unfathomable trust and love Hari possesses for humans and dogs alike. It’s like she wants to reach out and connect to the entire world. And this makes her irresistible to anyone who meets her. For sure, a few moments with her will melt any heart.

On October 7, Hari’s problem leg was amputated in order that she may lead a healthier, injury-free life. However, as the story of her life goes, this too ended up being an ordeal. The surgery has developed complications which have led to a life-threatening infection. The skin below the stitches has given way so that a hole in the chest has left the underlying bone exposed. The medical care to save her life is underway, but the expenses for her treatment are already touching 25,000 Rs.

What Hari needs now is another miracle that will save her life and hopefully end this cycle of sickness and put her on the road to full recovery and a normal life. Please make it happen by contributing for her treatment or by sharing this on your Facebook page so someone who can help will come across it.

Please also spread the word about Hari’s adoption. As a tripod, life on the streets will not be easy for her. And Hari with her gregarious nature and amazing calmness deserves a loving home which she is sure to light up with her magic!

For more information mail me on: veloce0raptor@gmail.com

Three letter solution to the five letter problem

This is not an attempt to mock any system of belief.

To begin with let me make it clear I don’t know what it means to have blind faith in a deity. Faith presupposes un-questionability. I used a prefix blind to make it plain to the modern reader who just like me might not know what faith is. Yet in life that is all we seem to seek. Faith in governance, in marriage, in our partners, in our gadgets and so on. Yet we are always let down, Trust me, even the iPhone can break down. Faith removes the uncertainty, which physics tells us is that foundation of our reality. Now this poses a problem. Life without faith seems empty. Imagine a life where faith cannot be a reality. If you cannot don’t worry and neither could I. That’s life without faith for you, inconceivable. Our very fabric of existence seems to have been woven around this thing called faith.

So how do we tackle this problem? We need to have faith in something or some being without which this life is apparently meaningless. But to place your faith in a being or a thing, let’s say, is like letting a three year old drive your expensive sports car. He might get it right in the straights but what about those tough corners or parallel parking. There is sure going to be a lot of dents and scratches. I guess this question might have popped in the minds of all the great and not great thinkers long back. There is no possible reality based solution. Everything that is real is also transient. That which lives dies, that which is built is destroyed. So we had to look beyond to place our trust and then faith. We looked into nature and there we found only dynamism, not the firm rooted concept with we seem to want to objectify. We wanted surreal properties, unquestionable characters.

The only possible solution to that seemingly unsolvable problem was to place your faith in a concept. This concept had to be fool-proof. All the kinks and possible problems had to be ironed out. So mankind went about creating extensive stories to create a hypothetical creature which is like man, so that we can associate with it, yet it rises above man in all aspects. This was a killer move. Now the concept becomes a shining beacon for mankind to follow and possibly evolve. However it seems thinkers overlooked one problem. They forgot there were other thinkers as well in the world, who thought about this problem in a similar manner. You can’t really blame them, the so called thinkers were spread across in time and space and there was no Skype or Gtalk available back then.

Fine, these concepts were developed. Faith in concepts came with its set of problems. One, it must be spread and second, it does not allow for existence of other concepts. With time and development of communication, concepts clashed. Mutual infidels clashed. We are still waging this battle.

One offbeat solution was spirituality, which tries to unify all these concepts together, with talks like different paths same destination and stuff. It works for some. But what about the masses who cannot look beyond the over simplified, objectified version?

There is no possible solution in sight for them. They are a dying race. For peaceful existence we have to let go the oversimplified concept and look for some sort of union or just simply perish. This involves mental work.

We have to somehow extract faith from our system and accept uncertainty as the eventuality of living. That is possible only if we can let go of the society and de-evolve (I had to make it up as there is no antonym for evolve). They were right when they tried to burn the first guy who discovered fire. It is the very knowledge which created this computer and urges me to write this piece, our greatest undoing. Uncertainty can be only experienced in our primeval form. Einstein was partly wrong when he said ‘god does not play dice’. There was no god to begin with but the dice were rolled.

Paradox

Our true great peace is in the wars we fight
Happiness in the depression we face
Joy in the eyes of misery we see
Life is a paradox for us humans
We chase after our own tails all our life
Never quite reaching, and never letting it go
To live our life in this vain state we needed a villain
Maybe that's why we have created this world
an antithesis to life itself
We go to war with ourselves
lost out on the true meaning of peace
We have worked out everything except maybe how to live.

Uniting to conserve our wildlife

Every speech, every article written about the state of wildlife in India begins with or contains the famous quote from Gandhi –“ One can measure the greatness and the moral progress of a nation by looking at how it treats its animals”. Even here I am making a reference to it. This article is not about the greatness of India’s wild heritage. A lot has been said about it in the media, and over coffee tables. This is an article about a few people involved (even remotely) with wildlife conservation. This is about how we feel. This is about the state of the system as we have come to see it. With this simple introduction I will dive into the point of contention…

Travel to any protected area where wildlife is officially supposed to exist, which is not in the ‘A list’, and talk to the locals. All you will hear are stories about the lack of effort from the Forest Department (FD) and state government. Before you conclude that this is yet another article complaining about the inadequacies of these officials, we would like to request you to put aside these doubts and read on. In our encounter with various states’ FDs we have more often than not encountered insurmountable difficulties, from plain indifference to abject hatred. That’s one part of the story. What we, as people living in civilization, don’t hear is that there are a few people still scattered around who rise above the normal rut to do good work. It is these people we seek out and help in our own capacity. Be it writing a simple proposal or a requisition letter or actively participating in conservation efforts. This story is dedicated to those people.

Fighting against all odds

The Indian forests largely have inaccessible and inhospitable terrain. Life here is not simple; most of us can’t survive there for a weekend without running water, electricity, network and internet. It is where these few able and capable forest staff works. They need help in the form of volunteers and people who come to recognize their work appreciate them and help them in whatever simple way it might be possible. This might be our first step towards wildlife conservation. Helping those involved, making their life simple. All the readers are informed enough to know that we are at the brink of losing everything. Not just the Tiger, the damage is done across all species. The tiger is simply a mascot to bring to your notice all that is wrong in the wild. There should be more public involvement and that will be the only way to bring in transparency to the FD work.

How you can help

You can start with taking some time off and contacting the nearest FD. Get involved by doing simple odd jobs, build contacts and get more people involved. We are not asking you to become the big brother, we are asking you to assist as a concerned responsible individual. Directly help the people caught in the crossfire or fund a tribal kid’s education. There are various means and ways to do it. Google will show you the way. Make sure you monitor it. Understand that this is an effort for the survival of our species, of humanity. There are people working for conservation, sadly however there is a larger number working against it. This has to change this has to be a people’s effort.

We humbly request you to take an effort in this direction and get as many people as possible involved. We need not just the tigers in our jungle, but also the leopards and gaurs and a whole lot other wonderful creatures. There is not much time left. This Wildlife Week we can, each and every one of us, work towards making that one simple change. If you cannot contribute time, help those who can. The simplest way is to help the FD of this country function better. We are always willing to help those who are lost. Let this be a new beginning and all we can hope for is the best

any queries mail us at
gupta.meetu@rediffmail.com
praveenzone@rediffmail.com

bomb-bay 3

Dear Mr. Politician,

I have nothing more to say than what people all over India are already saying. Listen to them - their agony, their pain, their loss. And another thing - For God sake don’t say stuff like ‘Mumbai has a fighting spirit. Mumbai will get up and brave every danger’. Don’t appreciate them. You don’t have a right too. They will get up and walk, not out of choice, but lack of it. This is what makes them brave bomb blasts and terrorist attacks. If they don’t get up and walk after every time disaster strikes, they will lose everything they have. The disaster brought about by your incompetency.  Do something about it or just get lost so someone else who can do something can take your place

bomb-bay 2

Dear Mr. Journalist, Bombay bomb blast is not sensational and it is not a drama, it is sad and frustrating. Stop making it into a frenzy. Start helping people instead. We don’t want to know gory details, tell us what we want to know, what steps have been taken to save and aid the injured and to prevent such attacks in the future. Better still; tell the government, what we the people truly feel. You have the power to help. Put a full stop to blame game. Hold ppl who are supposed to be responsible, responsible. Make heads roll, or else shut up about the blast and cover Kalmadi's breakfast plan and other pointless shit. just stop playing with facts, figure and our emotions.

bomb-bay 1

Dear Mr. Terrorist, 'Bomb'ay the name does not imply u freakin bomb the city when ur bored or get a new batch of interns. More then frightened we are irritated with this act of yours. More than fear there frustration. Your USP is fear, so try new targets like our politicians and useless bureaucrats. BTW the name changed to Mumbai years back. please take note

Almost Roopkund

 This is the story of my trek, Almost Roopkund, yes the name sounds a little weird. What started off as a fun trek, turned into a life changing experience. Nope I did not suffer from any accidents nor did I go through any x number of hours of gruesome ordeal. This place made me redefine my sense of reality.  I guess there was nothing normal about this trek for me. It was a series of random events strung together. Every one of them new and breath taking, every one of them made me rethink a lot of my past assumptions. I will not get into the travel details like I usually do. For a change I will share with you my experience. I have warned you before, don’t expect anything coherent.

One random phone call led to a series of events which unfolded in a very dramatic manner which finally landed me in New Delhi one lazy hot Tuesday morning. I choose to use the word lazy here to remind you that I don’t run the rat race. I set the pace for my life. After the basic preps and running around the journey to Rishikesh began, then later to places like Rudraprayag and Karnaprayag. At the end of the first leg of the journey we landed at Wan, an isolated village nestled amongst the virgin valleys of the Himalayas.

The trip so far was adventurous by any normal measure, but I was not looking for just any adventure. I embarked on this journey for a variety of reasons. I guess the most important was the need for answers to a few of my questions. I needed time and space to find it, time and space, away from the mundane responsibilities of everyday life.

Wan was answer to some of my questions, here I found myself slowing down, absorbing the nature and all her energies. Here I had a strange yet familiar encounter with Latodevata , a local deity, who also happens to be a very ancient pine tree. Here I understood the reason why people visit Himalayas in search of their personal truth in hordes. Here there is no need for a cordoned space called temple, no need for a sanctum sanatorium. I realized the very space is sacred. 

We started our trek in the night, those of you who are faint hearted; don’t even think of trying this. We were duly admonished at by the forest guards and the local shepherds when they figure out we had made the first ascent in the night.

The reason, some of my fellow climbers had a paranormal experience, which involved floating lights in the middle of the forest. Before you judge and look for scientific reasons, understand very few of you have ever experienced any trek like this before. It is kind of difficult to visualize any such experience sitting in comforts of the city life.  Ya, back to the story, this experience freaked out two of my companions, so we stopped the trek and decided to camp for the night.

The climb so far was quite simple and easy, however I suffered from acclimatization problem. This in layman terms means I really couldn’t breathe and every step was a nightmare and every draw of breath set my lungs on fire. We ascended 3000 feet on the first leg.

The climb from the 2^nd base camp was relatively easy due to the easy gradient; however the air was getting thinner and thinner with every step I took. I took every opportunity to rest and catch some nonexistent breath.

We reached the third base camp. There the weather went from bad to worse, with constant hail and rain. With ten people already stuck in the higher reached with no possible rescue due to bad weather, we decided to wait and watch. The weather in the higher reaches Himalayas is like the thought process of women, very random and constantly changing.

Trust me the wait wasn’t bad either. The place is breathtaking. The high altitude meadows of Himalayas are beyond comparison. With snow capped mountains surrounding us on almost all sides, I was lost to the beauty.

With the weather showing no improvement we decided to start the descent. The trek down to Wan was normal and my breathing showed some improvement. Once in Wan we took the same route back to civilization.

On reaching Rishikesh we split up with Rahul continuing to Delhi. Hiten and I decided to spend the extra day roaming around Rishikesh. This basically involved me spending an awful amount of time at the Freedom cafe at the banks of Ganges. Go there it is an amazing place with good food. The next day we took the train back to Delhi. Then I continued my journey to Amravati. This was one of the most memorably journeys of my life. I found what I wanted.

  Praveen

Strings

The strings that once were

Tugging at the remaining strands

Fighting to break free to spread my wings

To get the first taste of freedom

I paid a heavy ransom

The strings that once were

Running from the web to stay out of reach

To stay pure to stay clean

How much will I lose?

How much will it cost?

This race this never ending run

Away from shackles away from chains

Which when once around,                     

To its every call I should beckon, I am bound

Like a slave like a dog

Waiting to please the master

But I know no master I bear no shackles

And never will I live for another

Let the world be damned

And its rules burn in hell

With the strings broken

All that remains is my sanity

A few meager possessions

But there is hope there is light

And there is a way to win this fight

Rise and snap the chain and rope

This is a war song to inspire hope

A battle cry to all you brave souls

Fighting your personal battles

Don’t you give up, let them not see you cry

Grind you teeth and take the beat

Coz we have nothing to loose

But a life to live

CONtext

Was reading newspaper came across the words: common man, ordinary people. Just struck me, who then are the uncommon and extraordinary people?  What is uncommon about them?  What actions of theirs are so extraordinary? Politician – no, most of them cheat, steal, lie. Actors/celebs: nope again. Lies, fake, deceitful. Businessman- maybe, some are good and progressive. What is about the guy sitting next to you on the train, the vegetable vendor, the old man buying vegetables from him? What makes them so ordinary and common?  I can come to only one conclusion, if IPL Chairman Lalit Modi, 2G Raja, Reddy brothers, and the likes of Pappu Yadav, Rakhi Sawant, are the uncommon extraordinary people according to media, the people who give the meaning to words like deceit, fake, extortionist, murderers. I am happy to be ordinary and common in this CONtext.  

Sticky Notes

This is a note to self…hmmm maybe some sort of reminder, more than a blog entry. I started this blog, when ever that was to keep track of some of my journeys both with in and with out. Like a marker along the way (da….. obvious ). These are not turning points, needn’t even be important events. These are a record of events I enjoyed, experiences that moved me, simple joys of life and a record of things I have read. Yes this is a travel blog describing a different kind of journey. One most of us rarely take. Through the catacombs of thoughts, through green valleys through what ever life decided to throw at me and more importantly what ever I decide to embark on. These might not be coherent but then again what is? In all these years if there is one thing I have learnt and internalized then it is that ‘the only true worthwhile pursuit in life is the pursuit of life itself’

Praveen

An eternal roar

The story of Raja and Rani is not just a tribute to the couple themselves, but also the many forest guards involved in giving them their space to mate for life. No, I am not using crude terminology. I actually do mean "mate" because this is the story of the only tiger pair we have heard of that has mated for life. The villagers of the Melghat Tiger Reserve, who had never seen the two apart, always knew when the pair had walked past, the inter-twined pug marks, a result of the way they gently rubbed past each other as they walked, were always a clear give-away. It was no surprise then that the one who watched over them, intended to bury them together whenever the fateful day came.

There came a time when the villagers realized that the pair had not been spotted for almost a year. Not even the romantic tangled prints that had become their identity could be traced. About the same time a pair of tiger skins was confiscated in raid some where in North India. On further interrogation it was found out that the skins were of a pair of tigers from Melghat jungle. Those skins were the remains Raja and Rani. A shooter, hired for Rs. 500; a trap setter, hired for Rs. 50; a person to watch the trap, hired for Rs. 5 all led to a women, hired for Rs. 1500, to wrap the skins round her waist, don a Burqa and transport them to a wealthy woman who paid Rs. 15 Lakhs for the skins of a pair that had mated for life. They were all arrested.

On hearing this news the distraught Mr.Barde, a forest guard to whom Raja and Rani were more then just a pair of animals, interrogated the perpetrators to find the location of the killing. On hearing that the remains of the tigers were scattered through out the mountain side to avoid detection, he traced back the location and spent the next few months looking for every remaining bone. Their bones were brought back and buried together for eternity, their pug marks never to be found again. He in his own way paid back to his beloved Raja and Rani.

On seeing the depth of emotions involved in this incident one of the perpetrator committed suicide in the same jungle.

With all the NGOs claiming to work with animals and the various government departments that are formed, we forget (as we often do) that the true heroes lie at the grass root levels. They are the true inspiration to all those with a passion for wildlife and should be on a pedestal right up there above all else.

This story is the legacy of people like Barde who are still out there. Working beyond the call of their duty, working to protect and save the last few remaining tigers. Living in inhospitable conditions and taking it all in the stride. In spite of people like Barde toiling out there, if the tiger ever goes extinct, due to our insatiable greed, on that day I would have lost all hope on human race.

Raja and Rani, their corporeal form might have been lost for ever but still somewhere in the deep jungles of Melghat in the heart of this country, if we listen closely we might still hear their roar.

Maansi & Praveen